时东北沦陷，日本扶植溥仪建立满洲国。有些不甘做亡国奴的，跑到关内流浪。有些做了新政权的走狗。大多数人还是留下了，过着安全的生活。
留下的人中，有些坚决反日，或明或暗地斗争。有些拥护新政权，积极合作。大多数人还是顺应着时代，不支持也不反对，上着日语教学的学校，考着新政权下的公务员。
这大多数人，哪里都有。并不是因为中国人中庸而比较明显。
这点也符合高斯定理，十分科学。

未完待续

奇怪，我这种便秘性格，半天憋不出一句话，又不是世俗标准下的美女，你为什么要喜欢？
我自己都不喜欢。
我正尝试着跟这个世界正常地交流，尽量深沉些，不发火。多沟通这方面，是做不来的。

Coupons of love

It marks the end of the episode.
Now comes the time for "moral of the story", and confession.
I won't regret for anything. I could have stayed in this relationship for a year or so before ending it, to enjoy the benefit such as:
- having someone to care about and be cared about
- having someone to carry your bag, and other heavy stuff
- having someone by your side when feeling lonely
- be less fearful about uncertainties

What else? At another thought, these are things which can be settled by oneself. Also, if i were to stay and enjoy the moment, not only it hurts someone who wants to get married asap, it will also consume my 'coupons':

I believe God has given each of us a certain number of coupons, to redeem love from another person (other than your parents). If i spend it on the wrong person, i would have less coupons when i meet the right one. I don't have a definition for mr right or mr wrong, but i know when we were together, i become more uncertain and internally struggled than i were when being single which is what i couldn't stand. I'm willing to give up my freedom, my dreams, my dignity in a relationship, but not to someone which i am very sure there isn't any future between us.

I'm not sure how much coupons am i holding still. I haven't redeemed much from someone. Whether i have alot or not, let me keep the rest. If there isn't a soul mate in my lifetime, i bear the result willingly. Coz i still have faith, and hope.

还是不可以。就这样算了吧。
贪心，只会耗费配额。
即使这一生都不会遇到，也不想如此迁就。
跟林老师说，现在男人怎么都这么俗，没理想。要是有你的一半投契，必嫁。
虽然是完美主义者，并不是因为完美主义而决定的。
翻到了«圣经»里对love的定义，觉得自己也是俗人一个， being self seeking in a relationship.
可是失去了自己，活着还有什么意义？

一些反省

我深知，上天给我的配额终于到了。如果不珍惜，也许不会再有了。
"也许"，因为还在期望吗？
是放不下那个半真实的mr impossible,还是期待着本为虚幻的 soul mate？
真爱有如鬼魅，闻者众多，见者鲜矣。还在幻想着传闻中的真爱吗？